Copyright © 2025 · All Rights Reserved · Life In Captivity
Horizon by Organic Themes
She couldn’t get any farther away inside from her skin. She couldn’t get away.― Cynthia Voigt, When She Hollers
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My father had court-appointed visitation on certain weekends. His whereabouts were monitored so it was not easy to slip away with me again. But, the visits did not happen on a regular schedule. I only saw my father once in a while, often without warning. Months would go by without seeing or hearing from him and then suddenly he would appear in front of me. He became a mythical figure, surprising me with visits, presents, and showering me with undivided attention, something my mother, as a full-time parent, was often too busy to give me. My father presented himself as a perfect, doting father whose only interest was to adore me. I adored him back, but I also had an uneasy feeling around him sometimes. It was nothing specific, I just knew that when I was around him, my life would often change. I really didn’t want any more change.
My mother was always nervous when it came time for me to go on a visit with my father. Most of these visits were just for the day, but occasionally, I stayed overnight. Her anxiety is completely understandable to me now, but at the time, she just made me nervous as well when she fussed over me before I departed. For each visit, she would pack enough clothes and food for the stay. She made loaves of bread, vegetable soups, and lots of healthy snacks to send with me. At this time, my mother was a follower of the Macrobiotic Diet, a mostly vegetarian, Japanese-influenced diet popularized by Michio Kushi in Boston. My mother felt that my nutrition was key to my health. My father, however, absolutely did not care.
Copyright © 2025 · All Rights Reserved · Life In Captivity
Horizon by Organic Themes